Tag Archives: mental baggage

My 99¢ Therapy

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Whether you have 10 pounds or 100+ pounds to lose it is not easy. Even if you really have no weight to lose but want to start living healthier there are obstacles to overcome.

With me, it is the mental part of it. Once my head is in the game, there is no stopping me. My biggest obstacle is myself. I get overwhelmed by the long road ahead of me and it does not take much to push me towards a dead end. I eat my emotions and there have been a lot of roller coaster emotions the past several years for me.

Well, I started keeping a journal.

I have been not only writing in my journal, but somehow my journal entries have been prompting me to have complete conversations with myself. In a way, I guess it is kind of an easy way to save money on therapy. The point is this little book that I carry in my purse has given me an outlet to get the junk out of my head. Has it solved the all issues in my little world? Not at all. Has it given me a chance to speak my peace? Absolutely.

I feel like the little light bulb finally stopped flickering and has switched into bright mode. My mind is feeling clearer and I am more focused. For the first time in a very long time I actually feel like the fight is really worth fighting and it is actually a possibility probability that I will win.

I know that there are many of you who are thinking that I have been putting up a great act of positivity and healthy changes to my lifestyle. Well, I knew that if I kept throwing the positivity out there, that I would eventually feel it and then I would be back on track. As far as the healthy changes, I have made many positive changes in my eating habits; unfortunately it has not been 100% of the time which has hurt me a great deal.

It was like being the positive model by day and cookie monster by night for me. Why? I eat my emotions. While I was at work, I didn’t really have time to dwell on the other aspects of my life. So, why have I been 100% on track with my eating, goals, and balancing emotions for three days now? I believe it is because I have taken the time to keep a journal. I have an online journal for tracking food, which is great, but it does not address the emotional aspect of trying to deal with life. My little 99¢ notebook has become the most valuable tool in this fight and I am so glad I have it.

So, I can finally say with 100% certainty that this journey is worth fighting for. I may make a few steps backwards now and then, but I will not give up on myself regardless of how many times others try to push me down. Remember this: I will come back stronger than ever!

Aging Does Not Have To Be Painful

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I have been overweight for as long as I can remember and while I was growing up a lot of emphasis was put on my weight by many of my family members. As we all know, such attention tends to push a child in the direction which is the exact opposite of what you are trying to accomplish. To make a very long story short, I grew up and out to be the obese woman I am today.

One thing that was said to me over and over again that really stuck in my mind was that I needed to lose the weight while I was young because as we age it gets harder. I am not real sure where that mindset came from, or even if there is any validity to it. But, as an impressionable child and teenager I became so obsessed with losing weight that all I wanted to do was eat.

Anyway, back to the whole aging theory. Because I was told on a daily basis, and sometimes several times a day, that as I got older it would be harder I received the message that old equals impossible. Now, I know there will be some who will want to  jump in with all the comments about me being an adult and I cannot blame my childhood forever. I am not blaming anyone but myself for the physical state I am in. I am writing this because I am positive that there are others who have lived this and if I can help just one person to understand that they are not alone, then I am one happy person.

So, where was I? Oh, yes, the aging theory. Somewhere in the back of my head I think I gave up because I took that statement and decided that it was too late to even try. Well, I tried through the years and even lost significant amounts of weight at times. The problem is I made extreme temporary changes which I could not live with and did nothing to deal with my mental baggage. That is why I have this blog, so I can deal with the mental baggage. Right now, the bag I am unpacking is the aging bag. Aging does not have to be painful.

I have always bragged that I have perfect blood pressure, no high cholesterol, and no signs of diabetes. I am in perfect health except for my weight. Now, while it is true that I have none of those things, I have noticed that as I have progressed chronologically I have had so many changes in my body that I have attributed to aging: pain in my back, pain in my knees, asthma, constant sinus infections, eczema, psoriasis, rashes, numbness, etc. However, the more I read and research, I realize that about all of my “growing pains” are side effects of my weight and not my age.

Now, this is my lightbulb moment. You mean to tell me that I can treat and in some cases completely eliminate some of these ailments just by taking care of myself? That’s just crazy!

I have spoken before about baby steps and creating new good habits that I can live with for life. While I have created some great habits such as drinking my water, eating a healthy breakfast everyday, and eliminating a lot of the sugar out of my diet, I have realized that I never really got rid of any of the bad habits. So, where I need to start is getting rid of the bad habits I have, one at a time. I know I can do it!