Tag Archives: lifestyle changes

My 99¢ Therapy

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Whether you have 10 pounds or 100+ pounds to lose it is not easy. Even if you really have no weight to lose but want to start living healthier there are obstacles to overcome.

With me, it is the mental part of it. Once my head is in the game, there is no stopping me. My biggest obstacle is myself. I get overwhelmed by the long road ahead of me and it does not take much to push me towards a dead end. I eat my emotions and there have been a lot of roller coaster emotions the past several years for me.

Well, I started keeping a journal.

I have been not only writing in my journal, but somehow my journal entries have been prompting me to have complete conversations with myself. In a way, I guess it is kind of an easy way to save money on therapy. The point is this little book that I carry in my purse has given me an outlet to get the junk out of my head. Has it solved the all issues in my little world? Not at all. Has it given me a chance to speak my peace? Absolutely.

I feel like the little light bulb finally stopped flickering and has switched into bright mode. My mind is feeling clearer and I am more focused. For the first time in a very long time I actually feel like the fight is really worth fighting and it is actually a possibility probability that I will win.

I know that there are many of you who are thinking that I have been putting up a great act of positivity and healthy changes to my lifestyle. Well, I knew that if I kept throwing the positivity out there, that I would eventually feel it and then I would be back on track. As far as the healthy changes, I have made many positive changes in my eating habits; unfortunately it has not been 100% of the time which has hurt me a great deal.

It was like being the positive model by day and cookie monster by night for me. Why? I eat my emotions. While I was at work, I didn’t really have time to dwell on the other aspects of my life. So, why have I been 100% on track with my eating, goals, and balancing emotions for three days now? I believe it is because I have taken the time to keep a journal. I have an online journal for tracking food, which is great, but it does not address the emotional aspect of trying to deal with life. My little 99¢ notebook has become the most valuable tool in this fight and I am so glad I have it.

So, I can finally say with 100% certainty that this journey is worth fighting for. I may make a few steps backwards now and then, but I will not give up on myself regardless of how many times others try to push me down. Remember this: I will come back stronger than ever!

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Dear Future Self

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Dear Future Diana,

I am so proud of you for getting your journey back on track. By the looks of it, I would say you finally kicked the dessert habit also. Good for you! What is it like to be able to get on the floor and play with the grandkids? Oh, I bet you can tie your shoes without feeling like you just had a full workout. I have so many questions to ask you and I am not real sure where to begin.

I guess the best place to start is by letting you know that I have already started some small little habits that helped you get where you are today. Just like I promised back in April, I have started drinking only water (Ok, I still drink my morning coffee, but the cream level has been reduced drastically), I eat breakfast every day, and my fruit and vegetable consumption is significantly higher.

To answer your question, yes it is a healthy breakfast about 98% of the time. If you don’t believe me, just check my tracker on MyFitnessPal because I may not log everything, but I do log my breakfast. I know, I should log everything, but I am getting there. Oh, this morning? Yeah, had some errands to run so I stopped at Wawa. I didn’t do too badly though. See, I am learning.

Now, to some of those questions I have for you:

  1. How did you get the determination to not quit? How did you get past the obstacles that life placed in your path? I seem to be struggling with that at the moment.
  2. How long did it take before you could climb the stairs without pulling yourself up or losing your breath? I have lived here for 6 months and I still can’t do that.
  3. What did it feel like the first time you were able to fly without fear of being ridiculed?
  4. Do you own those boots that you swore you would have someday? (If you don’t remember the boot story, you can read it here.)
  5. How was it when you were finally able to ride those roller coasters again?
  6. I know that you have a regular exercise routine, what did you do to start? How did you get past the pain and keep going?
  7. Did the eczema and asthma get better as you lost the weight and got healthier?

There are so many more questions I would love to ask, but they aren’t coming to mind right now. I am happy to say that I have outlined my next baby step for our journey. I have decided that the next goal is to not eat take-out and cook dinner every night.

I know, it is not going to be easy with “the husband’s” obsession with pizza, chinese, and drive thru cuisine. But, you obviously figured out a way to conquer it, so that is what I am doing this week. I am not saying I will never eat take-out again, but I am saying that I need to get in the habit of cooking for myself. So, if he wants take-out he can get it. I will still prepare my dinner.

Oh, one more question:

Were you ever able to get that husband of yours to eat any vegetables without tricking him? LOL

An Open Letter To The Woman In The Corner

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To The Woman In The Corner.

You remember me, don’t you? My husband and I were having dinner about two tables over from you in that buffet last Friday night. I can’t imagine you have forgotten us since you watched us for over an hour with a look of disgust on your face. Was it difficult for you to see a couple out eating dinner who were actually enjoying each other’s company since the other five people you were with obviously were unable to keep your attention?

I am not sure why you were so fascinated with us that you felt the need to make eye contact with me then literally give me that look of absolute disgust. However, you were interested enough to watch us eat so there are a few things I feel compelled to say to you.

When two overweight people enter a buffet there are some common sense rules you can keep in mind.

  1. Don’t assume that they are there for your entertainment or judgement
  2. Do assume that they are human beings with eyes and feelings just like you
  3. You can also assume that their bodies need fuel just as yours does
  4. Consider that while someone may be overweight, you never know where that person is in their journey
  5. Another safe assumption would be that they are not interested in what is on your plate, so you do not need to feel as though we judge you or your food choices
  6. Just in case you wanted to see what some good food choices would be and that is why you were watching me eat so intently, most of the food you so carefully watched me consume was vegetables. Oh, I did have some rotisserie chicken AND I removed the skin
  7. Oh, for the record, I don’t drink soda often but when I do I drink it full strength. No diet stuff for me. That is a personal preference and one soda a month is not how I got fat
  8. Yes, I did have dessert and it was delicious. Thank you!
  9. Next time maybe if you pay a little more attention to the people you are dining with, others can actually eat without judgement.

One thing that may help you in the future is to close your eyes and think about going out on date night with your spouse and sitting down to eat when you notice a complete stranger sitting across the room from you. Then as the meal progresses that person, whom you have never met, made it a point to let you know that not only were they judging you based on the color of your hair, how tall you are, or maybe they just don’t like your clothes but that you actually disgusted them because of that physical trait. How would that make you feel? Yes, that is exactly how I felt when we left the restaurant.

But, guess what! I actually like and accept myself. I know that I am doing everything I can to make myself a healthier version of me. Notice I did not say a skinnier or thinner version? That’s because it is not about size and you would do well to remember that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Small Changes for Huge Results

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Yesterday I wrote about some of the struggles I have been having and came clean with my self-imposed obstacles/excuses. Well, today I am sharing with you the first steps I plan on taking to get out of this funk.

I recently came across one of the most inspirational stories that I have read and I was literally blown away by the transformation. Eli Sapharti – FAT Boy FIT Man is one of those stories that make you just sit back and take notice. He recently posted this video to his Facebook page and in it you can see how genuine he is about wanting to help and inspire people. He also talks about taking baby steps and making small changes so you don’t get overwhelmed and give up after a month or two. This one statement struck a nerve with me.

I have told you before that I have lost and gained the same 50, 60, 70 pounds several times. Every time I did it, I was dedicated and determined and took off running. I would cut out all sugar, all carbs, all fat, drink the shakes, well, you get the picture. I never did anything gradually and went in with an “all or nothing” attitude. I know I have read and heard the advice to make small changes one at a time many times. But, you know me. I am not a patient person. I want to be thin and have a life RIGHT NOW!!!!

Ok, so why did reading Eli’s story and watching his video make me stop and think? I can’t really explain it myself. All I know is that listening to him talk about his journey and his thoughts struck a chord with me. It stayed with me and last night I thought about those baby steps. What can I change right now that I really won’t impact me in such a way that I feel like my entire life has been turned upside down and something that can make an impact for life?

I came up with a few small changes which I have implemented today:

  1. Water: The switch is being made to only water for cold beverages. I am still allowing myself 1 cup of coffee in the mornings though, I am not real sure I can totally give that up just yet. If I really want more hot beverages, I can drink green and herbals teas.
  2. Breakfast: While have made it a habit to eat breakfast every day, I don’t exactly eat the healthiest breakfast every day. Last night I made my own instant oatmeal packs with oats, ground flax seed, cinnamon, a dash of salt, and some Splenda. I then purchased some almond milk and brought it all to work with me. I have breakfast ready to stick in the microwave for the next two weeks. No reason at all to stop for coffee and scones or breakfast sandwiches.
  3. Fruits and Vegetables: I love my freggies, but I am not always successful at squeezing them into my day. It is now my goal to find a way to get some sort of produce into each and every meal. For example, this morning I before ate my oatmeal and cut up an apple and added it.

Three things which I can change and be consistent with and at the same time will be creating habits which will make a huge impact on my goals. I am thinking about what changes to make next. What are some of the changes you have made to your lifestyle?

The Things I Might Miss by Losing Weight

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First of all, I need to address why I have been MIA on this blog. My last post was nearly two months ago. I could go through a long explanation excuse of how I have been so busy moving and working, but I don’t want to lie to you. Yes, my family and I did move and I have also been working quite a bit. But, that has not stopped me from regularly maintaining my Facebook page, so why not post? Well, I think part of it is because I have been feeling like a big fraud. My page has gained popularity and I have been blessed with the greatest support system a girl could have. Not only do I have several family and friends who cheer me on, but there are hundreds of people I have never met who offer continuous advice and support. The thing is, although I am in fact doing everything that I have promised and posted, there are many things I have not done.

I have not been consistent at all with eating. Well, I have been eating, just not making good choices consistently. I have been doing the activities and exercises that I have been posting, but I know I am not pushing myself to do more.

With that said, I have had a few humbling, yet motivating moments the past couple of days and I am here asking you to not give up on me. I have not given up on myself and I know that I can and will live a healthier life.

There are many posts out there, including some from me, which give various reasons to lose weight. Everything from health to fashion has been mentioned. Let’s face it; we all know the health risks associated with carrying extra weight as well as the lack of clothing selections. We also have our own struggles with everyday life to deal with. If losing weight were easy, no one would be overweight. This is not a life that anyone chooses willingly.

With that said, I thought it would be an interesting twist to list the things I might miss about being overweight once I have crossed the line from obesity to “normalcy”. Here is a list of those things:

  1. The ability to stay off of everyone’s radar by staying hidden in the background
  2. Being able to stay in bed an extra 10-15 minutes every morning because I just can’t get the energy to get up
  3. Asking my husband for assistance to get up off the floor, or even the couch at times
  4. My slip on shoes, I might actually have to tie my own shoes
  5. Staying home all the time
  6. The constant weggies (TMI, I know, but this is my list and those of you who are obese know what I am talking about)
  7. My couch
  8. Elevators and escalators
  9. Sitting on the bench while my family rides the roller coasters
  10. Polyester and elastic
  11. The bruises on the side of my legs from chairs
  12. Seatbelt extenders
  13. Heavy breathing all the time
  14. The lectures from my doctor
  15. The lack of invitations to social events or even family events (this makes it easier to hide in the house)

As you have probably figured out, this is more of a sarcastic list. The point is, I have so much to gain by losing and I am so tired of starting over every single day. We all know that I have had my fair share of struggles the past couple of years, but it is my own fault that I let these life events interfere with what should be my number one priority: ME! That is why I have not given and I never will. Today is a gift just as yesterday was and it is my choice how I use it. I am using it to mark my determination to make not only today, but my future better than yesterday.