An Open Letter To The Woman In The Corner

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To The Woman In The Corner.

You remember me, don’t you? My husband and I were having dinner about two tables over from you in that buffet last Friday night. I can’t imagine you have forgotten us since you watched us for over an hour with a look of disgust on your face. Was it difficult for you to see a couple out eating dinner who were actually enjoying each other’s company since the other five people you were with obviously were unable to keep your attention?

I am not sure why you were so fascinated with us that you felt the need to make eye contact with me then literally give me that look of absolute disgust. However, you were interested enough to watch us eat so there are a few things I feel compelled to say to you.

When two overweight people enter a buffet there are some common sense rules you can keep in mind.

  1. Don’t assume that they are there for your entertainment or judgement
  2. Do assume that they are human beings with eyes and feelings just like you
  3. You can also assume that their bodies need fuel just as yours does
  4. Consider that while someone may be overweight, you never know where that person is in their journey
  5. Another safe assumption would be that they are not interested in what is on your plate, so you do not need to feel as though we judge you or your food choices
  6. Just in case you wanted to see what some good food choices would be and that is why you were watching me eat so intently, most of the food you so carefully watched me consume was vegetables. Oh, I did have some rotisserie chicken AND I removed the skin
  7. Oh, for the record, I don’t drink soda often but when I do I drink it full strength. No diet stuff for me. That is a personal preference and one soda a month is not how I got fat
  8. Yes, I did have dessert and it was delicious. Thank you!
  9. Next time maybe if you pay a little more attention to the people you are dining with, others can actually eat without judgement.

One thing that may help you in the future is to close your eyes and think about going out on date night with your spouse and sitting down to eat when you notice a complete stranger sitting across the room from you. Then as the meal progresses that person, whom you have never met, made it a point to let you know that not only were they judging you based on the color of your hair, how tall you are, or maybe they just don’t like your clothes but that you actually disgusted them because of that physical trait. How would that make you feel? Yes, that is exactly how I felt when we left the restaurant.

But, guess what! I actually like and accept myself. I know that I am doing everything I can to make myself a healthier version of me. Notice I did not say a skinnier or thinner version? That’s because it is not about size and you would do well to remember that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

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About Diana

At 43 years old I have missed out on so much in life because I was too busy obsessing about my weight. Having spent so many years on the weight roller coaster, I have decided to just live and enjoy the journey instead of putting everything on hold for "someday when I am skinny". I am applying a few priciples that will allow me to just enjoy life: 1~ Drink my water. 2~ Enjoy my food 3~ Don't deprive myself of anything- portion control is my motto 4~ Throw the scale away (OK, I can't bring myself to throw it away,but I am giving it to my teenage son to hide from me) 5~ This one is the most important: LIVE LIFE!

4 responses »

  1. Ok…so this infurated me to read!! I love you dearly and I’m so glad you had a nice date night with your hubby and hopefully will not let that woman ruin it totally! Now this is what I would have done. I would have walked past the woman with my plate and asked her if she would like to join us since we seemed to garner so much of her attention! What a piece of work!!

  2. Ugh that sucks. People are so judgmental, hypocritical and downright RUDE. Kudos to you for keeping your head on straight & for keeping a fabulous perspective.

  3. Love and Hugs. I so know what you went through. I would NEVER go out to eat alone if I could help it … honestly … I still have trouble with that one. I guess left over shock. Just know there is love and excitement over where you are going … who gives a rip where you’ve been! 🙂

  4. I do not know you personally but a friend of mine shared this and it breaks my heart that you went through that! I also have those feelings when I go to a restaurant not only am I over weight my boys are big kids too! Not overweight according to the Dr. but as I see people look at me and my beautiful boys I feel like they think I dont care and I let them eat junk which is so far from true!!! It sucks that people are like that but always remember they are also the insensitive ones that probably look at children and adults with disabilities that way! They are worse than scum as far as I am concerned and take it from someone that is overweight and married to a man that is not we have enough pressure to look nice and feel great when looking in the mirror and trying to get dressed up for our husbands for a nice evening out when we should be enjoying our time together and not worrying about what everyone is thinking and scoping the room for the one or two people are staring us down. It really is not fair. Keep you head up and your pride intact and dont let them get you down!!!!!

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