Where’s the Positivity?

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Have you ever been in a place in your life where you just feel like you have hit a dead-end? For whatever reason, that is exactly how I have been feeling the past couple of days. I have been doing everything I can to think positive and keep a smile on my face. Contrary to what I would like to believe and what I try to project to everyone, I just don’t feel great about myself or my life right now. To help get me out of this funk, I have tried to get into a routine and keep it.

I start every morning telling myself that today is a great day. I make my fresh juice and pack my food for the day so I have healthy meals and snacks available to me throughout while at work. I check in on Facebook often so I can stay in contact with all my favorite people who inspire me and keep the positivity in my day. So, why is it that sometimes I just don’t feel it? Why is it that lately I have been so close to tears because I really feel that everyone in the world can succeed except for me?

Now, please don’t take this as a message that I have given up on myself. Actually, quite the opposite is happening. Today, somehow I managed to dig deeper than I ever thought I could and I am realizing that everyone has their bad days in which they struggle and feel down. So, what did I do? I pushed away the platter of food which was brought into the office today for meetings, and I drank my Green Monster. I then decided that now is the time to write it out. I mean, nothing puts things in perspective more than writing them down for me. So here is my list of self doubts and my own little pep talks to wipe the thoughts excuses out!

Stress: Without going into a lot of detail, the stress level in my life right now is at it’s all time highest. 

  •  Well, Diana, do you really think you are the only person on Earth who is stressed? Think again! There are many people out there who are having just as hard of time making it day-to-day, so get off your rear-end and move! Exercise is the best stress buster out there!

Self Loathing: I know that the word “loathing” is a strong word, but that is exactly how I have been feeling the past couple of days. Let me explain. We had some pretty important clients coming into town this week for work, so I decided I needed to look for appropriate clothes for the occasion. I FOUND NOTHING THAT WOULD FIT ME! Not even the ugly-I-am-buying-this-just-because-it-fits clothing. Why? Because I literally did not find one article of clothing that fit me. 

  •  So, Diana, what does that tell you? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it! You will never be able to buy clothes that you want by curling up in a ball of self-pity! Get off your rear-end and move!

My family offers little support for me. I feel the constant demand for the high fat, high sugar food in our home and I am so tired of not only trying to buy enough food for two menus, but cooking two menus is very time-consuming. 

  • So, what you are telling me is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to integrate any healthiness into your family’s menu? Come on, you have done it before….. Prepare something healthy and make an extra side dish for them. Who knows? Eventually they may actually get jealous of all the positivity surrounding you and will hop on board with you.

So, what am I doing about it? I am kicking all the self-doubt and excuses out the window and I am not giving up on me. What do you do when you hit a wall and the self-doubt creeps up on you?

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About Diana

At 43 years old I have missed out on so much in life because I was too busy obsessing about my weight. Having spent so many years on the weight roller coaster, I have decided to just live and enjoy the journey instead of putting everything on hold for "someday when I am skinny". I am applying a few priciples that will allow me to just enjoy life: 1~ Drink my water. 2~ Enjoy my food 3~ Don't deprive myself of anything- portion control is my motto 4~ Throw the scale away (OK, I can't bring myself to throw it away,but I am giving it to my teenage son to hide from me) 5~ This one is the most important: LIVE LIFE!

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